it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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