You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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