My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
