I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
