lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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