You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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