He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
