Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
