We won't sleep together?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
