I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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