we have pet lesbian snakes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
