he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize