May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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