Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
