I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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