Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize