so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
