check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
