u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
