Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
