It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
