I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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