fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
