Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
