Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
