so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
