pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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