He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jerry, you need to find god
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
