i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
