Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
