i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
