Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
