I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
