Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
