sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
