mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
