Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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