i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
