he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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