No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
