is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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