i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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