Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
