This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
