I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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