I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my phone needs a breathalizer
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
