Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
