Define "chronic" masturbator.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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