Swine flu. Run for my life!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
