On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im six kinds of drunk right now
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize