Its about making memories worth repressing
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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