my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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