What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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