I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
