I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
4 words: hood of his car
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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