I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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