Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
