"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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